an almost year in review

It’s been almost a year since I last posted and there’s so much to write about. But before I add to the cacophony of Today, I figured an “11-month in review” was in order.

In political news- Hillary Clinton lost and Obama won. John Mccain belonged somewhere in that last sentence. Sarah Palin rode aforementioned Penguin’s coattails to inspire reverie in hockey mom’s everywhere and the exact opposite in moose/wolves/PhD holders. Joe the Plumber rode America’s failing schools’ coattails to become a relevant (?) political voice. Obama’s victory cemented the Democrat’s copyright on the words “Hope” and “Change”, while the Republicans managed to retain the rights to “White”, “Git ‘em” and the phrase “Ronald Regan was better than anyone you mentioned.” Obama blasted the Bush Administration’s use of torture and campaigned on a promise to end it, only to reverse his stance just weeks after the election saying only, “I thought Jimmy Fallon really held his own.”

In economic news- foiled again. But enough about the whiney world slipping into darkness…I filed my 2008 taxes, got a decent return but still didn’t qualify for the stimulus rebate (phew!), which reaffirms my place on the socio-economic ladder as “one rung above the completely effed, two rungs above West Virginia, and three rungs below free of college loans”.

In cultural news- Disney green lit the 4^th installment of it’s lucrative Pirates juggernaut, casting Don Cheadle or Terrence Howard or Samuel L. Jackson as the lead in Pirates of Somalia: The Curse of Crushing Poverty. The New York Times reported that reporting is dead, drank itself to sleep and then choked on it’s own Style Section word vomit. Gay marriage was criminalized in California and legalized in Iowa, causing many Californians to have the same reaction I had when I watched this (how’d he do that? No, really). Britney Spears has extensions, sobriety and a ‘crush’ on one of her new dancers, which seems like it could be a good idea- on opposite day.

In personal news- My little sister is having a baby…so I’m adding “kooky Aunt” to my resume…which I’m sending out because I’m unemployed…and I’m unemployed because I quit my job…during a recession…a fact that either confirms my fearlessness, stupidity, attachment to my soul, or inability to amass piles of money…and quite possibly all four.

In general, my disposition these days is that of a person who has just boarded Shit Your Pants Rollercoaster despite the signage warning those with neck and back problems or questionable bowel control to just take the kids to the Tea Cups and call it a day. It’s a mixture of anticipation and terror but all with the supreme faith that no matter what, I’m going to get one hell of an overpriced photo out of it…